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School.
School started almost two weeks ago. And Saturdaisy is still dead. Because I haven't had the energy to do anything about it.
I'm so effin tireD. TIRED TIRED TIRED TIRED. And I'll be even more tired starting next week. Because I've finally decided to get off this lazy ass before I get fat. So I got a sportive hobby. Well, I joined my friends with what they're doing. Which is circus-techniques. Which requires you to have muscles and be stretchy. Which is the exact opposite of what I am x__X. But I'm tired of being like that so this is my opportunity to do something about it, right? It's twice a week and takes up a lot of time. But I'm sure it's worth it.
But right now I am so freaking tired. Becuase I was sick last friday I missed seven classes and now I have TONS TO CATCH UP WITH. Not to mention omg HOMEWORK FLOODING. + New Hobby. PLUS PIANO PRACTICE. Plus mom who can always find something I seem to have forgotten I have to do.
I got home at FIVE. I finished homework at EIGHT. And then my mom came in and went all good you're done now you should get yourself something to eat and PRACTICE THE PIANO. Geez gimme a break please? And I still need to practice the piano every day. Which is normal, I suppose but it's so loud and gets so boring and ugh. Tiring. But I can't quit. Becuase I don't want this to be ANOTHER waste of money because I QUIT.
Besides. My mood is pretty bad right now. I'm feeling really down. Why? I don't have a freaking clue. I just don't feel like doing anything anymore and have no energy and I just want to TAKE A BREAK FROM LIFE. But life won't let me.
I DONT KNOW WHATS WRONG. I'M JUST UNHAPPY AND TIRED. BUT APPARENTLY I
DONT HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE. THATS NOT MAKING ME ANY HAPPIER.
A friend told me that I shouldn't be unhappy because all I need is my friends whom I love and who love me and that equals happiness. That's a great saying. But I also believe in another one. Before you can love others and others can love you, you need to love yourself first. And yeah. Seeing as I'm not entirely happy at all with whom I am, it's kindof hard to imagine that others would care about me. (the usual nearly-emptiness of this site seems to be proof of that.) Though I can't say THAT out loud because of FEAR of HURTING OTHERS. By saying they don't seem to care about me. Because honestly how can I know? They're just so NICE. Sometimes I'm scared they only put up with me because they're too nice not to. Because I'm such a pain in the ass. Who complains a lot.
Like she is doing now.
WAAAAH. Mom : You shoudln't complain you're tired because you chose to have this extra time-taking hobby. Daisy : That doesn't mean I won't be tired. Mom : You shoudln't complain about it and just do what you have to do. Daisy : But that doesn't take away that I'm tired and need a break every now and then. Mom : You had plenty of free time last week. I saw you on the wii a lot. You didn't have any homework. Daisy : I really don't want this conversation with you being angry because I'm tired. Mom : Fine. Then there won't be any conversation. *stalks away* Daisy : *Bursts into tears*
... Yeah. Helping. I had a crying fit at school too. Because my friend went all YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY. BE HAPPY. BE HAPPY. Daisy : I don't feel like being happy. I don't feel like doing anyhting. Friend A : You don't feel like doing the new hobby we all share? *hurt voice* Friend B : You shoudln't be all depressed because you have lots of freaking homework. Daisy : That's not reeally it. I suppose I don't feel like doing anything? Why should I anyway. Friend B :You see no point in life? WE ARE YOUR POINT IN LIFE. THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH. *hurt* Daisy : .... I just don't see things your way. Besides it GOES DEEPER than that. I just don't like talking about it to you because YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND. Friend B : *takes Friend A* let's go for a walk. I need to clear my head. Friend C: Are you ok? Daisy : *bursts into tears*
Yeah. And I still seem to have tears left now. Srsly.
Posted on 14 Jan 2010 by Daisy ,, 9 Comment(s)
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by Amalia at 22 Feb 2010 05:44 pm
Hey dais, I understand how you feel... but you have to persevere! I've made the mistake of quitting many times now, and on the other hand I've seen the light at the end of the tunnel in some instances. I HATED to practise my violin. I couldn't be bothered. I didn't like the music, I didn't like the sound it made, and the fact is if I didn't start working harder I'd never improve as fast as I wanted, but then again I never wanted to practise, so nothing about that really worked. Then I got inspriation to play it more 6 months ago and I couldn't be happier my mum pushed me into doing all those lessons I hated. I love it now and I'm quite far ahead of everybody else hehe... Mums are there to push you! Persevere and you'll love yourself for it someday! I know teen life can be crazy sometimes but just work hard and look towards the future. guess these are my words of inspiration for today!
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by Silly Bandz at 11 Aug 2010 03:50 am
<a href=“http://www.ssktoys.com/”>Silly Bandz </a>- rubber bracelets, when idle, acquire different ways - not dumb at all Olivia Soto. With more than 1,000 bracelets, New Windsor, 11 years old, is a serious collector.
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